How to Make New Friends?\ Introverted Teens
TEENAGER PROBLEMS
SERIES - 3
Today “the mess” we are gonna dive in is “Struggle Making
New Friends and Introverts" like making new friends was a real big deal for me, because
I really didn’t know how to, I’m kinda introverted person and don’t talk much
if you meet me in person, It’s that I just need
a lot of time to actually make myself feel comfortable around new company.
It’s never been so easy to make new friends throughout my highschool journey,
and I still face that difficulty. It’s not that every person is good with making
themselves comfortable around new people, you know.
So I wanna tell you my story,
I’ve this really good friend of mine, we used to travel in the same bus, I saw
her in the bus for the first time when I was 5th grade, well she was
the only girl who was of my age, and I wanted to be her friend, cause I didn’t
had any friend in my school bus. My introverted ass never let me approach that
girl and eventually ask her to be my friend, like after around 3 years later
through something we started talking and slowly we became really good friends.
Teens who are introverts like me face this problem a lot,
when it comes to making new friends, we need
the whole gut power to approach someone and ask them to be friends. I was once talking to my extroverted friend
and asked him that “how do you easily
fit yourself in, in every kind of group? “
So he answered “look its quite simple if you are going to make yourself
feel that you don’t fit in, in any group or you’re not good enough to be friends
with them, then they going to treat you like that too” well that’s true before making someone as a
friend we think a lot that would that person be interested to talk to me or
not, look buddy you don’t need to worry about that, just give it a try who
knows if that person shares the same interest as you do and you both eventually
become good friends.
Like in childhood we guys did not had a definite definition
of friendship, of course we were kids then, we just used to simply call the
other kid who spends more time with us and who used to go for bicycling
everyday with us as friend, if someone gave an extra chocolate then we
categorized them in the list of best friends but as kids become teens, these
friendships start to shift and evolve, as it’s true with so many things about
middle and high school, we become more independent and start making choices for
ourselves, so it makes sense we also become more independent in managing our
friendships. Some handle this transition effortlessly, while others struggle
mightily with making and keeping friends.
So now the question arises that what exactly is to be done
to make new friends if we are an introvert?
Look it’s quite simple, as an introvert I’m saying this
thing, you will need to step outside your box and put an extrovert mask,
because it’s not going to work out if you’re not ready to come out of your
comfort zone, try starting the conversation with the person you want to be
friends with - It sounds easy but it’s quite difficult I know, but as you do
it, it’ll become more natural, I’m not saying to start the whole conversation
with full on confidence, I know it’s take time but at least you can start with
small and simple conversation. If you can’t think of any topic to talk about
then you can ask questions.
While making new friends don’t forget to be yourself, look
you don’t have to change yourself to be friends with anyone okay, if they
cannot accept you the way you are then mate it’s no worth staying with them.
True friends never going to dislike you or judge you for being you.
As we grow up, we mostly go for quality over quantity,
personally I go for quality, it doesn’t matter If I have just 3 friends or just
1, I’m more than happy if that one person is good and loyal to me, I don’t need
a crowd around me, which is filled with fake people who acts good around you
and talk shit about you behind your back, I know nobody wants that. So I did two surveys on instagram regarding
making new friends and I got quite well response to them.
So the 1st question was which one do you prefer –
a) Having one close
friend b) lot of friends
And the response was like this that 57% teens prefer having
one close friend and 43% of them prefer having lot of friends, Here I’m not
going to say anything because every person has his own opinion regarding any
topic, it’s good if teens feel like having lot of friends is good, like it’s good to have lot of friends until
they share the same energy as you do, which matches your energy level.
And the 2nd question was according to you is it
easy to make new friends?
And the response was something like this where 65% teens
feel like it’s not easy to make new friends and 35% feels like it’s just a
piece of cake thing for them, well yeah some people are really good at moulding
their personality according to the situation and according to the people they are
with but it’s not the same with introverted people like me, it takes a lot of
strength and energy as well, you got to be patient and not rush because every
relationship takes time.
Think of it like this when you get a new pair of shoes, it
takes a little time to break them in so they become comfortable. The same is
true conforming a new environment. It’s going to take time to relax, adjust and
get comfortable. Every kind of relationships takes a lot of time, work and
commitment. Think of relationships like planting a seed. When you plant a
flower seed, it’s not going to sprout and grow overnight and neither is
friendship. Just as flower needs attention, nutrients and care to flourish, so
do relationships.
So, I would like to conclude by adding this that don't hesitate in making new friends, just know that who you are approaching and do you feel comfortable around them. Enjoy making new friernd!
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